Goblin Gains Already installed? Open the app →

Get ambushed into shape.

Gutz is a goblin drill sergeant who lives in your phone. A few times a day he pops up and yells. You drop and do 20. One tap logs it. Your family sees if you didn’t.

Let him in Free. No ads. No gym.

Oh good, you’re reading. Reading burns zero calories.

Gutz, a goblin drill sergeant, bursts out of a phone screen yelling through a megaphone at a goblin on the couch, whose chips go flying
The ambush

He finds you.

Pick the hours and the moves. Gutz picks the moment. Pushups, squats, lunges, jumping jacks, calf raises, planks and wall sits. No gym, no gear, no warning.

Choose how mean he is: mild, spicy or savage.

Gutz peeks out from behind a potted plant, pointing right at you
The workout

One tap. Done.

Do the reps, tap DONE. That’s the whole app. No plans to follow, no videos, no heart-rate anything. On Android you can log it right from the notification.

It’s the honor system. Gutz can’t count. He can yell, though.

The drill screen: Gutz points at you above a big DROP. 20 pushups, with a DONE button
The snooze

Snooze if you dare.

Busy? Snooze. He comes back in 15 minutes. Then 10. Then 5. Hit snooze a third time and the drill is gone, your streak is at risk, and your Horde gets a full report.

Gutz, arms crossed with a stopwatch, glares down at a goblin face-down on the floor slapping a snooze button
The snoozed screen: SNOOZED. with a countdown until Gutz returns and a streak at risk
The glow-up

Get swole. Slowly.

Every drill earns stars. Streaks earn more. Your goblin grows from Couch Potato to Absolute Unit, and the Drip Shop sells capes, crowns and a very serious mustache to the goblins who earned them.

Couch Potato
Snack Enthusiast
Mildly Concerning
Suspiciously Fit
Absolute Unit

The crown is 1,500 stars. Start doing pushups.

Your Base: your goblin in a sweatband and aviators, a 12-day streak, 5 of 8 drills done today and 3,140 lifetime reps
The Drip Shop: a goblin trying on a crown, with sweatbands, capes, gold chains, helmets and hats for sale
The Horde

Bring the Horde.

Private, invite-only groups for friends and family. See who showed up today. Heckle whoever didn’t: it costs you stars and sends them a bonus drill. Team up on a weekly raid to upgrade your lair.

No public leaderboards. Just the people who know where you live.

Four goblins cheering and heckling: one with a foam finger, one throwing a tomato, one doing a pushup and a laughing grandma goblin

Grandma did 140 today. What’s your excuse?

A Horde screen: The Harmer House, a weekly raid at 1,430 of 2,000 reps and a list of members with Heckle buttons

Let him in.

Goblin Gains is a web app you add to your home screen. No app store.

iPhone

  1. Open goblingains.app in Safari.
  2. Tap Share, then Add to Home Screen.
  3. Open Goblin Gains from your home screen and turn on notifications.

Needs iOS 16.4 or later. iPhone only sends web notifications to installed apps.

Android

  1. Open goblingains.app in Chrome.
  2. Tap Install app (or ⋮ → Add to Home screen).
  3. Open it and turn on notifications.

Free, no ads, no tracking. For ages 13 and up. Bodyweight moves only; check with a doctor if you’re not sure they’re safe for you.